My sweet, perfect Benjamin was born at 37 weeks and 4 days... The second the nurse blurted out that stat I knew I would never forget it. Thirty-seven weeks and four days... Labor started spontaneously and went perfectly. I could not have asked for a more amazing experience; I brought life into this world on my own, in good time, and in perfect order.
This One, this new little life who, I'm sure will be as amazing and enchanting as the last did not come at 37 weeks and 4 days. He didn't come at 38 or 38 and 4 days... I am sitting here, at 39 weeks shocked that I am still pregnant. I know I know... Forty weeks. But he is big. He is getting bigger and I am not. I'm not worried that he is getting TOO big, that I will somehow be unable to assist him into the world on my own, but I would have liked to do that before he hit nine pounds. Before I lost all feeling in my feet. Before it became nearly impossible to turn over in bed or carry Ben up the stairs.
Mostly though, I'm tired of not holding him in my arms. I want to see his face and touch his toes. I am impatient to smell him and I'm trying to not let these anticipations ruin the last fleeting days we have as a family of three but I'm struggling... We're all ready. And I'm done!
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Dear Michelle,
ReplyDeleteThe end is so hard!!! Praying for you. I know that it will be such sweet release to have him in your arms to cradle. Can't wait to hear the happy news that he is finally here!
The second delivery does normally go a lot faster -- though if he's so much bigger maybe not. I think you will do great. You did with Ben, and now your body knows more what to do.
Take care of yourself.