Wednesday, June 17, 2009

16 Weeks

"You'll hit 12 weeks and feel so much better!"
"The second trimester is so much better than the first!"
"I never felt better than when I was pregnant!"
Lies!  All lies!  Once one thing clears up, something else goes horribly wrong.  The prescription that is keeping my food down makes me sleep 'til nine.  Though I'm not sleeping comfortably.  Besides the new pillow between my knees there's an extra one beneath my head to keep the mucus from pooling in my sinus cavity...  Although I still have a horrible sinus headache when I do finally get up.  That might be because of the coughing though.  The ALL night coughing that my husband is sweet enough to say doesn't wake him up!  It might sound much worse to me than it is though.  See, my left ear has been plugged since I got off the plane from Seattle, TWO AND A HALF WEEKS AGO!  Aside from the real ailments there are the relative: I can't take a flight of stairs without becoming winded, and there are two flights between my washer and our drawers; the only clothes that fit now are my (very small) collection of fat clothes; for some reason Jasmine Green tea doesn't taste good anymore; and, I know this doesn't sound so bad, but I've eaten the better part of a watermelon in two days.  Seriously, being pregnant has been the most frustrating, exhausting, libido killing part of my life.  
But
There is a baby.  A tiny little life that can still fit into the palm of my hand but has overtaken my heart.  When I look down at my swollen abdomen I do not despise the pudge, I adore it.  I look at the few pictures I have of that forming body and my life is good.  We are no longer a couple, we are a family.  We have a person to form, a soul to guide, a life to watch blossom in front of our eyes.  There is not yet a he or she assigned, air has not been gulped, and there is no love in those eyes for us, not yet.  But our lives are altered.  Our souls feel bigger.  Our bond is closer.  
We are parents! 

5 comments:

  1. You made me cry! I completely understand all the ailments, sorry you're uncomfortable. Pregnancy sucks, it's the baby that is wonderful. Oh and when you feel the baby move, that'll change a lot of things for you! I love you!

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  2. oh michelle.... you're pregnant!!! oh my!! what a joyful announcement for my heart!!! :) :) :) as for everything you're going through-- i relate 100%. extreme nausea/vomiting until 20 weeks, unrelenting sinus congestion, being easily winded, sleeping in later, etc.... pregnancy is tough on you, as it is for me. but as i KNOW you know, the precious, precious baby you will hold in your arms is sooooo worth it in the end!!!! i'm soooo sooo happy for you!!! i love you!!!!!!

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  3. Congratulations, Michelle! You are now the 11th woman i know who is pregnant!! Now i am beginning to REALLY feel out of the loop! :) So sorry to hear you are having a hard time of it, but keep your eyes on the beautiful end! Being able to hold you little child! After reading this and hearing more stories like this, i am not looking forward to being pregnant! Haha (: But i know that in the end it will be SO worth it! Looking forward to hearing more from you on here!

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  4. You don't have to talk to your eggs anymore because you have a little baby inside! How exciting! We are soooo happy for you.
    ~Love the Rossers
    Jeremy, Becky, Benaiah, & Justus

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  5. So I actually read your little entry this time and so I will comment accordingly. First off I just want to say that I totally can relate to everything your goign through... well not really, but I know what you are talking about because my wife has had two now and we are currently kinda trying for number three. All that to say I think that what you are going through right now, meaning all the difficulties and struggles and basically you are losing your mind and your body at the same time is just to prepare you for getting your world rocked so much more once your little baby is on the outside. I think that it's God mercy that blows up our "normal routine" of life during the pregnancy in order to teach us that the world can no longer revolve around us. Now I'm not saying that you are totally selfish by any means, I know well I guess kinda knew now since I haven't really had contact with you in years, but anyway you were never a selfish person. I'm just sharing what I've learned so far. When the baby starts kicking it changes everything so look forward to that. And there is nothing on this earth like holding your little baby in your arms for the first time and just loving it. That is the closest thing to true and undefiled Agape love that I have ever seen in the world, the love that a parent has for their little tiny baby. You are in for quite the ride and I look forward to keeping up with your blog.

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